I was sitting in my dorm room a couple days ago and noticed that by the door, trash bags were accumulating. There were two full trash bags sitting there, waiting to be thrown out once and for all. The trash bags were creating clutter in my room, becoming a barrier for spaciousness and clarity, and threating to block access to the door. This simple observation brought to mind some unhealthy habits in my life that parallel this negative accumulation of clutter.

The French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal famously said in his Pensées, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” While the use of the phrase “all… problems stem” is likely an overstatement, Pascal makes an important point. Pascal gives this inability a name: divertissement, which in English translates approximately to “diversion” or even “entertainment.” In other words, we are constantly preoccupied with distracting ourselves with cheap pleasures and entertainment, and thus can’t sit still with ourselves.

Considering this quote by Blaise Pascal, take a moment to reflect: if you had no social media, no video games, no base pastimes or habits, or in other words, no distractions, what would be different about your life? I think the biggest difference is that you would have to face yourself. You would have to deal with the evil within yourself. You have to face God in light of that evil, and you would have time to reflect, to ponder, to gratefully receive the gift of grace offered to us in Christ Jesus through his atoning sacrifice.

Mental illnesses, and in particular depression, seem to be increasingly present in our society. Sometimes I reflect to my own periods of feeling that kind of low, and one observation is clear to me. Just as when bags of garbage accumulate to create clutter, depression often follows an increase in mental clutter that keeps us from facing the realities of the state our souls are in. Our minds are cluttered by distractions, which may be pleasant in the moment, but eventually we must come to face-to-face with reality. Perhaps in a strange way, depression is a gift that allows us to wake up and face ourselves and God. Perhaps he, in his divine mercy, uses it to draw us to him and bring us closer to him to experience his love.

In his classic novel Till We Have Faces, C.S. Lewis communicates this idea in a captivating way. He reframes the Roman myth of Cupid and Psyche to tell how Orual, the older sister and motherly figure to Psyche, journeys through jealousy, rage, sorrow, and a sense of meaninglessness to eventually come face-to-face with God and realize she has been in the wrong all this time. It is a heart-wrenching and beautiful depiction of our relation to God as we realize that what we are owed is death because of what we have done, but what we are given is life and reconciliation because of what Christ has done for us.

As you go through your days, think about what you spend your time on. Are you setting aside time to reflect and ponder and to consider the state of your soul, or are you filling your days with distractions, whether base entertainment or productive work? Take time this week to consider what your ultimate goal is in life, and ask yourself, “Am I pursuing what really matters or am I seeking trivial things?”